Iced Out by David Connor

Author:David Connor [Connor, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JMS Books LLC
Published: 2015-11-25T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

The tour continued, and so did Rocco’s feelings, jealousy chief among them, as Ridley spent most of his time with Mikolas. The menacing notes kept coming as well.

“City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style. In the air, there’s a feeling of big fun. Children laughing, people passing, one will make you regret who you’ve screwed, how you act, what you’ve done.” The NBC news anchor streaming on Rocco’s phone recited the note word for word, just as the bus pulled into The Big Apple. “Shit,” Rocco muttered. The last thing they needed was press.

“You seem down.”

Rocco smiled. He’d thought Dirk was sleeping.

“The glowing lights, the beautiful decorations,” Dirk said, “no one does Christmas like New York City.”

“The holidays and I don’t seem to get along so well,” Rocco said.

“So you decided to join the touring company of a Christmas classic? What are you running from?” Dirk asked.

“Well, I had plans for after that might not come through.” Rocco sighed. “Memories, I guess.” He went back to the second part of Dirk’s question. “I lost someone this time of year.” Rocco could hardly believe he was talking about it. He hadn’t even discussed that Christmas with Ridley.

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. It was a long time ago. Christmas for us was always volatile, another excuse to drink. It was called celebrating, but rarely did it feel very festive.”

Rocco was ten the year it happened. His mother had driven off on Christmas day to pick up dinner at the local Chinese restaurant and never returned. He’d lived with his aunt after that, whose grief at the loss of her sister left her unable to get too attached to any reminder of her, or to celebrate the holidays.

“You can feel so lonely, even in a room with another person,” Rocco said.

“Yes.”

“I’m kind of stingy with my love ever since.” Everyone claimed there was nothing he could or should have done differently to save his mother—school officials and people at church when his aunt dragged him there on Sunday and Christmas Eve, after which they came home and did nothing.

“You’ve closed yourself off.”

“I think I have.” Rocco scrubbed at his face with his hands, washing away the memory and emotion. He never wanted to love anyone again. Never. And so far, he’d done a pretty good job of not letting it happen. The very idea of falling in love with a cop—falling in love with Ridley—was just stupid. Rocco thanked fate then for putting Mikolas in the way, for preventing that from happening.

“My Wallace passed five years ago, and yes, it took me a while to start dating again, but I eventually did. It wasn’t easy. We are a youth obsessed society,” Dirk declared. “I’ve been reminded of that quite a bit lately. It’s the one thing I do not have to offer. The only thing that counts.”

Rocco put a hand on Dirk’s elbow. “I’m not sure that’s true.”

“What will I do with the rest of my life?”

“What do you mean?”

Dirk offered a rather weak smile.

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